the dream

So I lived though my birthday. Nothing really eventful happened. Just a normal weekend of:
1. Drinking large amounts of tequila2. Going to an 80’s bar3. Getting a lap dance4. Dumping J
5. Sleeping on the floor next to my bed
I don’t understand…why would J get all weird about me getting a lap dance…I’m just sitting there [...]

I was just informed by my friends that my life will be ending in 15 days. I have started to compile a list of things I need to do before my final day…strangely enough, on my list of 10 things, #’s1-5 and #8 all have something to do with my penis…weird.
What‘s a man to do [...]